Saturday, June 20, 2015

A Diary is a Time Capsule

Rounding out the night, with wine, and re-reading my thoughts of the past has made me come to the conclusion that no matter how hard a situation may be, eventually, you'll be okay. When I was reading over some of my old diary entries I couldn't help but laugh, and cringe  at all the situations, fleeting romances, and anti-climatic milestones I thought I was hitting. I suppose when you're younger, everything holds so much more meaning to you. Your feelings are a lot more intense and pure, because you're putting your whole self into them. To be a young teenage girl, is living life with your heart on your sleeve, and when your heart breaks, it's the end of the world. A few of my entries were about a boy I was "on again off again" with, I did not spare with any of the dramatics in the least. I truly believed my whole world was crashing down when we decided to take a break from each other. I do remember that situation, and crying all afternoon. I couldn't possibly fall in love again, he was the one, my best friend, and my soulmate.  At that point, I believed there was no chance of recovery for my heart. Looking back at this now, I find it so ridiculous that I had been so dramatic.  Re-reading those thoughts. took me right back to that moment. Fast-forwarding to this present day, I feel so old, and hardened. It takes a lot more for me to believe my life is "spiraling out of control".  I've yet to feel so passionately for someone as I did in my younger years. Is it maturity? Or is it the loss of being mystified and curious and open to the prospects love? I suppose when you feel feelings more than once, they tend to lose their excitement and allure. Nothing is ever as good as the first time. 

No comments:

Post a Comment